Passing it on

We've been scheduling as many of our followup appointments as we can before we are supposed to leave Colorado, we're to report to Ft. Knox in Kentucky in just over one month from now. So, to put it mildly, the pressure is on to get things in order and our entire household is feeling a little stressed about the move, even if they don't understand what is coming.

Last week we met with the boys pediatrican for a quick appointment to get some paperwork filled out and to have him make a phone call on our behalf to Ft. Knox for housing purposes (long story to that one).

JJ has been handling Dr. appointments so much better with Hazel.

She loves her boy

Yesterday Elliott had an appointment in Denver with his developmental pediatrician. We were in the waiting room when I was approached by a mom who wanted to ask me about Hazel. Her name was Betsy and her daughter (who is on the spectrum) was with her waiting for a doctor as well. Betsy was asking about Hazel's job, where she came from and why we chose ASDA over other service dog organizations. We spoke about our reasons for choosing ASDA (that they train solely for Autism and don't use career change dogs from other service needs etc) and we spoke about the process, the training, and she was surprised to know that Hazel goes everywhere with JJ.

Apparently, last year Betsy had been looking into a service dog organization and backed off when they told her that the dog would have limited public access and that their dogs are downgraded to autism dogs when they fail out of other service dog programs. She was disheartened and as we were talking I could almost see her body relaxing at the idea of a service dog for her daughter. Since JJ was with us, I showed her how the tether system worked and how JJ sits and relaxes with Hazel, which he never would have done before.

Betsy wrote down ASDA's information and I told her they were on FB and their website and I truly hope that she applies.

On Sunday, Hazel and I were blessed to be part of an Autism seminar at our church. I had an opportunity to share with members of our church about Hazel and what she does for JJ and for our family. At one point in the seminar I made a comment that every child on the spectrum needs a Hazel but more than that every family with a child on the spectrum needs a Hazel.

Today I found out that our friend's son, here on Ft. Carson, was approved by ASDA for a service dog!! I'll admit I am totally bummed that we won't be here to be a part of the family's fundraising efforts and that we won't meet whichever dog he will receive in the future, but I met this mom through one of Elliott's therapists.

If passing along a lifeline like a service dog to another family is something I can do, I will do it. I'm praying that Betsy applies and that she and her family will experience the great blessing of one of these dogs and I cannot wait to hear stories from my friend about her son and his best friend when that happens too.

Every child needs a Hazel. I don't ever want to return to life before she came to us.

This would never have happened!

I cannot tell you how many times yesterday I said those words.


A little backstory. While I was in Oregon, training with Hazel, last month I drove a Subaru Forester and LOVED it. Seriously loved it. I told my husband this but knew it was futile. We have a Ford F150 SuperCrew that my husband loves and I hate (it hates me too btw). Anyways, when I got home from Oregon you can imagine my surprise when my husband tells me he has been window shopping for a smaller car with more interior room! Total shocker for me that Josh would be willing to get rid of his beloved truck!

Enter, car shopping. Now, for those of you who actually know us, you know that we are HUGE Dave Ramsey fans. We are DEBT FREE since August 2012 and intend to stay that way. We don't use credit, we don't finance, if we can't afford it.... we don't buy it. So that is always fun while car shopping. Dealerships make their money on financing. The pressure to finance is insane but oddly we have found that people are pretty respectful when you tell them you don't do debt.

Cash is King baby!

So two solid weeks of car shopping online, three days of test driving etc and yesterday we decided to go look at two cars (one we had already looked at and knew we liked, the other was an unknown). The unknown car ended up being in Denver. We took the kids with us yesterday because part of our reason for a new car is Hazel. She is cramped in the back of the truck (I mean she is 75lbs and TALL!) so she needed more space to lay in and be comfortable.

We were grateful to work with the same sales lady that we did on Saturday and we let both kids and Hazel jump into the potential new vehicle. Hazel first laid totally flat on her side on the backseat floor! She's never done that in the truck. The deal maker though was watching her curl up into a ball behind the drivers seat on the floor and she just stayed there for the rest of the time we were in the car. That was it, the car is what we need.

We went into the dealership to sign paperwork and this is how JJ sat for almost 2 hours.

chilling playing angry birds while leaning on Hazel.

He changed position quite a bit (laying on his stomach on the floor or sitting etc) but he didn't try to bolt, he didn't whine or fuss about how long it was taking, and the biggest breakthrough for us, he chose to sit right beside her like this. He occasionally rubbed her back leg but he just sat with her, calmly.

It was wonderful!!

The next part of my story was doing groceries. After a quick dinner last night we went to the commissary. We were dangerously low on food (we've been a bit preoccupied lately) and it was time to restock. So off we went, plus the boys really wanted a ride in the new car! It was BUSY! I don't know why it was so busy being the middle of the pay period, I would expect that much traffic on payday in the commissary but JJ and Hazel were amazing! JJ walked calmly with us through the store, and stood in line at the commissary for 20 minutes with astonishing patience! I was so proud of him. Occasionally he sat down but it wasn't a flopping to the ground in irritation, he was just tired of standing. I'll admit I wanted to sit with him a couple of times too haha!

Before Hazel, neither of these situations would have happened. The boys would have stayed home with respite while we bought the car. Josh or I would have gone alone to the commissary after the boys were in bed. We wouldn't have done these things with the boys because this calmness would never have happened before Hazel.

Hazel has been home with us for a month, today. I never expected our lives to change this quickly but in the space of 4 weeks, life has changed completely. We have freedom, and peace when we go out. Don't get me wrong, it's not perfect. JJ still tantrums in public but it's less and less now. He can work through things easier with Hazel by his side and he's slowing down to tell us what he needs.

This never would have happened, but it's happening now.

A day in the life of Hazel

I'm sure many people are wondering, "what does she do all day?".

Here is a brief look at a typical day for Hazel.

As soon as we wake up in the morning, which is usually around 6:30am with the cannon (I'm serious it's a cannon) going off, Hazel is let out of JJ and Elliott's room and we go for a 30-40 minute walk depending on whether we actually got up with the cannon or pulled the pillow over our heads.

Once we're back from walk, the boys are usually up and eating breakfast and Hazel gets to do the same. So she'll lay down and wait until given permission to eat her breakfast. After breakfast it's time for her supplements. She gets 2 preventative glucosamine/chondrotin tablets covered in peanut butter and one fish oil capsule that we have started to give her every other day (she was starting to smell really fishy haha!).

After that she gets to relax and take it easy while JJ gets dressed. Some mornings however (like this morning actually), it's grooming time! So this morning Hazel and I went outside and brushed (the birds love the fur for their nests haha!) and then came inside and did her nails (love the dremel!). She just got over an ear infection (JJ also gets them when coming back to our high altitude here in Colorado) so we cleaned her ears with a standard cleaning solution. After grooming time this morning, it was time to get into her pack (getting dressed) and get ready for the bus.

All dressed up and waiting for the school bus!

Today JJ struggled getting onto the school bus to head to school. When JJ struggles, he drops to the ground and just goes dead weight. This is much easier to cope with when he is attached to Hazel because he cannot then bolt (as he used to do) either back towards the house, or into a dangerous situation like traffic! Hazel calmly waits for him, while we help him to get up and ask him to grab his handle. We did finally all get on the bus where I gave Hazel's leash to the bus aide and she got Hazel situated under JJ's seat.

 

 

 

 

Hazel under JJ's seat, taken by Kati while she was here training with us.

For safety reasons, JJ and Hazel are not tethered in a vehicle. If there were an accident, both need to be separate so they can be removed safely and then tethered once out of the situation. As you can see in the picture, the tether that JJ would normally wear is around the leg of the bus. This is not because she is running around out of control, this is simply for her safety because she's on a slippery bus floor and she's furry, she slides a bit!

Once they are at school, JJ's "transition" aide collects them from the bus and they move through their school day routine. JJ's "transition" aide is not a 1:1 aide for JJ in the classroom, we call her the "Transition" aide because she is only with him for the difficult transitions of getting off the bus and getting back on the bus. These areas are when he needs Hazel and consistency the most and the school has been wonderful to provide JJ with the same aide daily for these routines.

JJ and Hazel at school. This was taken by Kati during her training time with us.

Once JJ is back on the bus to come home, I meet them at the end of our driveway and lead JJ and Hazel back into our house. This is where the daily routine changes based on the day.

Some days JJ will have therapy in home during the afternoons. Other days we have doctor appointments or clinic based therapy that require us all to load up into the car and head out together.

Yesterday was a doctor appointment day. So we drove to Denver as a family  for the boys to have some procedures done. Hazel and JJ are not tethered in the car, although JJ wears his tether while in his carseat, it is unattached from Hazel's pack. This allows her to get  comfortable, especially on a longer trip.

On our way to Denver yesterday, JJ was watching a movie while Hazel grabbed a nap.

 JJ and Hazel are tethered any time they are out of a vehicle and working. The tether connects to a belt that goes through JJ's belt loops on his pants, or just around his waist if in track pants. The belt does not hurt him in anyway, even when he drops to the ground, it is just a nylon belt (like a typical nylon leash).

Taken from first day of tether training with Kati, this is what the tether system looks like!

Once we get home from wherever we are going in the afternoon, Hazel gets out of her pack and is told "free!". She then rolls around on the floor in the living room, runs with her face along the carpet and generally acts like a goofball. She then will get to play ball in the green space behind our house. You can watch her playing at this link; Hazel playing ball.

The late afternoons tend to be lower key since the boys are resting after the day. She eats dinner after we do and gets to chew on a bone or play with her bear. Hazel goes to bed with the boys but we bring her back out after they are asleep. This is her time to rest with us while we watch TV or work around the house, she plays, snuggles with us or just snoozes on the floor (or couch!).

Once we get ready for bed, she goes back into the boys room and up onto JJ's bed where she is for the rest of the night.

And then we start all over the next day!!

She has a good life, she's a busy girl and she loves her job.

Does it work?

Yes it does. For us life has been about survival. However, we have noticed that survival has become easier and even enjoyable in the last couple of weeks and we place that firmly on Hazel's shoulders.

I know people are probably like "how can it happen so quickly?!" Well, let me tell you what I see.

I see a little boy who walks next to his dog, calmly and (mostly) quietly. I see a little boy who can more easily transition away from a highly preferred activity (ie. playing with trains in Toys R Us) by clipping into his dogs pack and then move along to the next thing.

I see a little boy who sleeps sounder and longer with his dog on his bed with him. There have been fewer "potty breaks" overnight for JJ since Hazel began sleeping on his bed. I see a little boy who talks more, expresses himself more and spontaneously tells me he loves me. When he does drop down while walking next to Hazel, he tells us what he needs, it's not a meltdown anymore, it's a conversation!

I don't know how it can happen so quickly. I just know that it has. Hazel's constant presence in JJ's life seems to make a big difference for him now. This spring break has been the most painless break from school that we have ever had! I have enjoyed having my children around. The few excursions (again because we couldn't tether JJ after his surgery) we took, were smooth and we all enjoyed our time together.

Eating in a restaurant is a joy with JJ now. It's no longer the world of drive thru (although trying to find a place open yesterday with milkshakes was almost a nightmare but JJ endured it very well!) and we can eat out as a family or even just me and the boys now.

So has Hazel changed our lives? Absofreakinglutely!